DISCARDED LIBRARY BOOK : "Deputy at Wild Card"

"Oh, go roast a marshmallow, Clelland."
(out of context quote)

"Deputy at Wild Card" by Margaret Scariano
     All he ever wanted to be was a librarian, but suddenly, through a series of unexpected events, Lance is forced to serve as deputy to the town of Wild Card. A dangerous prisoner escapes, and Lance is determined to "bring him back alive," using his wits instead of weapons. Eccentric Aunt Charlotte and Jamie, the town blacksmith, add to the color and action of the story.
(from the back cover)


     According to the title page, this is a "PERSPECTIVES BOOK," published by Academic Therapy Publications in Novato, California. So... that sounds... fun?

     Table of Contents:
1)  First Look at Wild Card
2)  Deputy or Cook?
3)  Wanted: a Library in Wild Card
4)  Clelland Tries Again
5)  The Coffee Break
6)  The Plan
7)  Tricked, Trapped, and Wised-Up
8)  Aunt Charlotte's Trick

     I think there should be a band named "Aunt Charlotte's Trick," and their first album could be called, "Tricked, Trapped, and Wised-Up."

DISCARD TIME! Your Cat...



    (Is it, though? Is it really?)

     You're ok, your cat's ok by Marcus Schneck & Jill Caravan. Sigh.     
I guess I should just be thankful that they used "you're" and "your" correctly, and also used an apostrophe correctly.
     I know this is probably (hopefully) supposed to be funny, especially with that "meaningful relationship" part. But it's really just, like, "Ugh..."
     Right?
     Anyway, it's old, nobody has checked it out in at least a decade, and it's on its way out the door.
     Good DAY, sir.

VINTAGE BOOK FROM 1986 : "I Hate School"

I HATE SCHOOL : How to hang in & when to drop out
by Claudine G. Wirths & Mary Bowman-Kruhm
Illustrations by Patti Stren

     One of my fellow library technicians sent this to me. It was a result of one of her weeding frenzies, ditching obsolete materials. This is from 1986, and "school" was a pretty different animal then than it is now.
     I like how the subtitle, "How to hang in & when to drop out" indicates that dropping out might be a valid option for you. Maybe if you're, like, SUPER fucked-up, they advise you to go ahead and quietly drop out. Ride the rails as a hobo, maybe.
     Either my friend only sent me the dust jacket, or I lost the book itself, because all I have is this dust jacket and many questions about the dropping out option. Should I have dropped out? I really REALLY hated school. What if I chose poorly by deciding to "hang in?" Shit.
   

BAD BOOK COVERS

     My library is part of a school that is only 14 years old. But that doesn't mean I haven't found some pretty out-dated stuff now that I'm weeding the non-fiction. To my knowledge this is the first time this library has ever been weeded. I'm not a weeder by nature, I'm more of an archival-minded hoarder, but some of this stuff even I have to pitch.
Opportunities In Direct Marketing Careers
Copyright 2000, VGM
      Dude. If the dork on the cover doesn't scare you off, then you're probably already on your way to a grim career in direct marketing.
     If they were publishing that book today, I would hope they'd at LEAST replace the bulky curly noodle-corded land line phone with an iPhone or something.
The Internet for Teachers and School Library Media Specialists
Copyright 1996, Neal-Schuman NetGuide Series
     I love how Miami Vice that cover is. It looks more '86 than '96. And I was expecting to find all sorts of references in it to "The Information Superhighway," and other now-quaint terms. Which I did. But the MOST shocking thing to me was in a chapter written by a teacher on how he had set up a website for his school.
     He proudly shows an example of one of the webpages they set up for an individual student, with a PHOTO of the child, the child's full name, and all sorts of personal information, such as what the child likes to do, his family, their names, etc.
     Great way to provide plenty of tools for would-be child abductors! Good job, guys! I guess internet SAFETY has come a long way, although it seems like it should have been common sense, even back then, not to post all that personal info about children on a public forum.
     The boy whose webpage was printed as an example in this book probably got really sick of dodging strange men who knew his name, the names of his parents, and his favorite hobbies.
   

PEDAL YOUR WAY TO ADVENTURE


     I love charmingly dorky vintage book covers, so a friend gave me this book jacket when she weeded this one from her library. I love the tagline:
"Four girls pedal their way to mystery and adventure."

     I almost didn't notice the illustrator's unfortunate last name until my husband pointed it out. Tee-hee!
     You may snicker at some of my friend's other discards HERE.

VINTAGE CHILDREN'S BOOKS : Oz Junior Editions

     I think one of the best things about people who work in libraries (the ones who are truly library-minded) is that they understand the importance of preservation. Books can be time capsules and treasures if they end up in the right, appreciative hands.
     Before I started working in a school library, I worked in a public library, in the children's room. I loved it, and I still have friends there. One of them occasionally rescues books that are about to be discarded or sold for pennies in one of those indiscriminate library sales. Which are exciting and fun, don't get me wrong! But some books rate better treatment.

The Land of Oz Junior Edition by L. Frank Baum, 1939 (front cover)
The Land of Oz Junior Edition by L. Frank Baum, 1939 (back cover)
     My friend knows I'm a fan of the original Oz books, so she sent me these two time-worn little books. They're obviously not in good shape, one of them is missing the spine and back cover, and they both are marked "5" on the cover. At first I thought it meant $5, and then realized it probably meant 5 CENTS. Poor, sad little old books.
     I'm sure to a collector these are practically worthless because of their condition, but I'd never seen them before, and love them.
     
Jack Pumpkinhead and the Sawhorse of Oz by L. Frank Baum, 1939 (front cover)


BOOKMARKS MADE FROM DISCARDED PAPERBACK COVERS

     I thought I had already posted this picture, but I guess I didn't. I made these at the end of last school year, June of 2012. These were covers from old 1980s paperbacks that somebody donated, and I declined to add to our library collection. Because they're lame.
     I was kind of surprised to see those Sweet Valley High bitches again. I thought they were long gone and forgotten.
     I love the utterly pathetic "All Alone In the 8th Grade" cover, with that forcedly cheerful nerd girl in her purple gym shorts. She is BEGGING to get her ass kicked.
     What's that? Oh, why yes, I DID make those beaded tassels myself. I'm gay, and we know how to do stuff like that.

80s TEEN NOVEL : "Probably Still Nick Swansen"

Probably Still Nick Swansen by Virginia Euwer Wolff
     One of my English teacher friends asked if I wanted about three bins full of old books, and I said yes. There's no library funding, so I'm big on donations. Whatever we can't use for our library I take to a used book store to trade in for store credit, which I use to get things we CAN use.
     As I was going through all the old books, I found this little paperback gem from 1988. The cover illustration struck me as pathetic, along with the tagline, "What's wrong with being Nick Swansen?"
     If you have to ask...
     Then I flipped it over and read the synopsis on the back:

Nick has a problem. No, problems.
Nick is 16. He is still trying to learn how to drive. He's an expert on some things, not so good at others. He's haunted by the memory of his sister who drowned nine years ago. Nick is a "Special Ed" kid.

 He's been teased about it. But that doesn't stop him from asking Shana, a former special ed classmate, to the Prom. That, Nick thinks, will be really special.

 But things don't always go the way you plan.

 Suddenly Nick wishes he was anybody but who he is... anybody but Nick Swansen.

     Oh, dear. Poor Nick Swansen in his awkward tuxedo, waiting for his "special" date. And what's up with that seemingly random brick of tragedy tossed in, about Nick's dead drowned sister? Like Nick's struggles aren't enough "teen issues" for one book without a haunting accidental death from the past? Virginia Euwer Wolff, you are one hard and unflinching writer.
     There's even a nice little insulting "Author's Note" at the beginning of the book, which reads:

This book contains some incorrect grammar and punctuation in order to tell Nick Swansen's story in language that is consistent with his.

     Wow, Virginia Euwer Wolff, I'm not sure who's more insulted by that, poor Nick Swansen, or the reader.

BULLETIN BOARDS & DISPLAY : Library Pinwheel Bunnies!


Yes I made these myself, out of discarded library book pages and construction paper.


Library Pinwheel Bunnies!
     Library Pinwheel Bunnies!
          Library Pinwheel Bunnies!
     Are you trying to figure out how to decorate your library for spring? Not sure what to do? Library Pinwheel Bunnies!
     There is no situation that can't be improved by Library Pinwheel Bunnies!!!

This photo is blurry because I was shaking slightly from being SO EXCITED about the BUNNIES!!!
     Never mind that I can't come up with a reading or library-related slogan, yet. I'm still thinking.

LIBRARY PINWHEEL BUNNIES!!!