FUN WITH CAPTIONS: Mother Teresa, the Vampire

A horrible screech blasts from her withered mouth, bathing the infant in flecks of grave dirt and foul blood-scented breath. Mother Teresa's claw fastens greedily around the baby's skull. Her fangs lengthen with hunger, her eyes solid black with longing...


     (Actually, I discovered this image on the cover of a book that was recently donated to the library. Mother Teresa's Reaching Out In Love: Stories. But seriously, look at her! She's totally gonna eat that baby, and I can practically hear the pterodactyl-esque screech coming from her open mouth.)

WELCOME TO THE CHILDREN'S SECTION

     A friend of mine from a public library shared this email with me, which they had received from a co-worker:
    
Two parole officers came to children’s desk looking for an Hispanic man, in a wheelchair, with missing teeth.  I had not seen such a person since I came on children’s desk at 12:15.  They said they would go out to their car and return with a photo of him and a card with their number so we could call if we saw this man.  They never returned.  They said this man should not be in the children’s section. 

     No shit, right? I love the description of this dire individual. This is normal for the public library.

eBOOKS and eREADERS - Shut up about it already!!!

          Dude, I don't even know where to BEGIN. I am not afraid of new technology, but I AM afraid of people who want to jump on the latest digital trend before the kinks are worked out.
          A few months ago one of our parent-run funding committees started asking about getting eBooks and eReaders into our school library.

NO YEARLY BOOK BUDGET

          We have NO YEARLY BOOK BUDGET, and exist purely through special funding like parent organizations, donations, and book fair profits. We are still FAR below the district average for actual print material. We have less books than any other library in this school district. It seems like we need to at least fix THAT, before we start on something that seems like an "extra" to me.
          Plus, eReader technology is changing as we speak, and so are the DRM (digital rights management) that govern eBook usage. Nobody can agree which device or format is going to triumph. Will it be Amazon with their Kindles that read kindle-formatted eBooks? Or will it be Barnes & Noble with their Nooks, which read ePub format? Will it be iPads, which read ePub or pdf formats? Technically, iPads could read Kindle, too, since you can download Kindle for PC for free. It's all confusing and in flux.
          Oh- and you can get either Kindle or Nook for PC, as free downloads.

New and rapidly-changing technology

          So, with all this new and rapidly-changing technology, THIS is a good time to spend a ton of money on one of the options, right? Before we can tell which one is best? Especially for a school with no real funding? It reminds me of the early days of videotape technology, when my family chose "Beta" over "VHS," and bought the machine and a bunch of tapes before VHS obliterated Beta.
          I was asked by this particular funding group to do some "research" into the whole eBook/eReader thing, which I gladly agreed to do. But once I returned with many articles and reasons to support NOT jumping on that trend right now, they didn't want to hear it. Even when I bring up the fact that unless they're willing to purchase an eReader for EVERY student at our school, then it's not an equitable practice, they STILL are not discouraged from it. We're a PUBLIC school library, don't we have to provide equal access to whatever we provide for our students?

Don't we have to provide equal access?

          They're talking about buying maybe 10 Nooks for the library, or something like that. In a school with 1,200 students, how exactly do you decide which 10 students get to play with the Nooks? And what about actual eBOOKS? Those cost money, too. On average they cost as much as print books do, and the Librarian and I both would rather have actual print books that every student could read, whether they are one of the select few to get their hands on an eReader or not.

Wouldn't take long at all for them to be
damaged, stolen, or lost

          Can you imagine the waiting list nightmare that would be created by having just a handful of brand new eReaders? And if you work in a library, you know it wouldn't take long at all for one or two of them to be damaged, stolen, or lost.

"Overdrive," costs $4,000 yearly

          A big reason I object to this whole idea is that technically, an eReader is "equipment," which we library techs are not supposed to have to manage.  The eBook files are the "books," so I could see us eventually having an online database of eBooks for download in multiple formats (for whatever the student happens to have access to), but the current standard for this is "Overdrive," which costs $4,000 yearly. We just don't have that. We're lucky if we manage to scrounge up $2,000 for new books in any one year.          

UPDATE SINCE I BEGAN THIS POST:     
          Just last week we had a meeting of all Library technicians. I had asked that "eBooks & eReaders in our public school libraries" be put on the agenda. At first our coordinator seemed confused by this wording, specifically that I made a point to indicate PUBLIC school libraries. We all know we're a public institution, of course, but I think this is a good time to remind everyone what that means, as far as accessibility.
          eBooks would not be accessible to more than an extremely SMALL portion of our student body, even if we purchased a handful of eReaders. But we didn't even have to go into the "equitable practice" angle of the issue.
          Our coordinator quickly assessed the situation after I explained it, and said that any purchase of technology at this point would be premature, because there has not been a district standard set, yet. There is a committee that reviews new tech stuff, no matter what the funding source is, and eReaders would have to be proposed to them, and go through a review process.
          As soon as we explained this to our admin, the ongoing (and seemingly neverending) discussion seemed to come to a grinding halt. Which is exactly what I was hoping. For now, at least.

HALLOWEEN IN THE 'BRARY: 2011!

Halloween's ON, witches!
           Banned Books Week is over, so I spent yesterday re-decorating the library for Halloween. Yay! The first thing I pulled out of the back room was my mom's awesome feathery witch hat, which I stuff over an artificial fern in a black urn, and set on top of an upturned black plastic witch's cauldron. Then I set that in the center of an artificial black wreath. (Well, it really is a wreath, but you know what I mean) 
          The color scheme is chartreuse green and purple. I recently discovered that CM School Supply, which has a nearby location, has these handy-dandy giant rolls of colored paper. Plus they have the wavy border stuff I love, in a panoply of fashionable colors.  ;)

"Dare To Be Scared" poster, and "Halloween in Wonderland" scrapbooking papers, plus vintage ghostie and pumpkins, and a simple hand-crafted black construction paper bat with White-Out eyes

          When I first put that "Dare To Be Scared" poster up (it's new this year), one of our library regulars told me it really freaks him out, and he'll be glad when Halloween's over and that creepy guy won't be staring at him anymore.
          I said, "Yeah, he IS pretty creepy. Can you imagine if you were walking home alone one day, and you turned around and HE WAS FOLLOWING YOU?!"
          The kid said, "I get a ride to school, Mr. Kovac."
          I said, "Well, what if you're sitting in class one day, and you turn around and HE'S SITTING IN THE DESK RIGHT BEHIND YOU?!"

Jinkies! There's even a RAVEN perched atop the sill! And are those GLOWING SKELETON HEADS?!! So chilling!

"The horror... the horror..."
          The big bulletin board has all my old handmade Halloween stuff. I made the spider way back in the early NINETIES, when I was working at the Santa Ana Public Library, in the Children's Room! I was basically their art whore, so I was given plenty of time to make arty things in the back work room. It was only recently that I thought to make clip art books for the spider to be reading. Now he represents people who read a bunch of books at one time. (I admit sometimes I do that)
          It's too bad you can't really see the details on the building there, but it's a spooky library, which I drew in black over dark grey paper. I think it looks really cool and subtle in person, but doesn't show up in pictures.
           At the back of the room over history and biographies is a long bulletin board that still had a summery display asking "What did you read over summer break?" so it was way past due (pun intended) for a change. Now it's Frankenstein's monster, and bats.  

Frankenstein's monster "Library Good!" poster, plus clip art stuff
 
Google image search for "bat clip art"

Google image search for "bat skeleton" and "fancy frame," and a few layers of colored paper
          Near the front half of the library is a long bulletin board that used to have a cheery smiling pencil and "Welcome!" in big letters. Now it's all skulls and weird scenes.

Clip art skulls, and posters from Chris Van Allsburg's Mysteries of Harris Burdick

          I've been using the posters from the "portfolio version" of The Mysteries of Harris Burdick for years. It comes in handy for creative writing workshops AND decorating! In case you haven't seen it, here's a link to it on Amazon (be patient for the widget/link to load, it may take a few moments):


          Recently I saw there is a new "Harris Burdick" book, which is an anthology of new tales by prominent children's and YA authors, who have used the tantalizing illustrations as inspiration. But the book is getting mostly bad reviews, because people seem to like Van Allsburg's pictures specifically for their unexplained eerieness. Despite the quality of the stories in the new anthology, the stories just aren't going to live up to what fans of the original have been imagining in their OWN heads for the past 27 years. (And yes, it really has been that long since the original book came out!)

Our cylindrical display case done up like a "cabinet of curiosities" 
           Our "cabinet of curiosities" has a rubber skeleton and various stuff from Michael's, or wherever, plus fake grass at the bottom with little "tombstones" I made out of construction paper and metal bookends. Plus some spooky-looking books. We're lucky to work with students who don't (often) steal things. We leave the case unlocked so they can get to the books inside.

Oh my gosh, the Reference Section is suddenly TERRIFYING!!!
          That raven on the pedestal is from Michael's, fairly cheap. I put a little "Nevermore" tag around its neck. The little orange plastic witch is a total vintage thing the Librarian brought in, from when she was cleaning out old decorations from storage. I love it.

I did a variation of this same Poe shrine last year
          The Librarian brought back some cool things from her visit to the Edgar Allan Poe Museum in Richmond, Virginia. We now have parchment reproductions of some of Poe's poems in his own handwriting.
          The raven is just more Google image search clip art, and so is the little pic of Edgar in the clip art frame. I made the "curtains" last year out of construction paper.
         
SNEAKY TIP: when I'm printing clip art images and I don't have copy paper in exactly the color I want, I frequently find construction paper that's the right color and cut it to 8 1/2" x 11" and put that in the printer.

If you wanna see 2010's Halloween bulletin boards in our library, click HERE.

KIDS JUST LOVE ETIQUETTE

          I love working at a school where a heavy tome like the one you see above, on ETIQUETTE of all things, actually checks out. Not only that, but it was returned in perfect condition, despite its unwieldy size. You could kill somebody with that.

DESCRIPTIVE WRITING EXAMPLES

          Yesterday an English teacher who has 7th and 9th grade classes sent this request to the Teacher Librarian and me:

"I wonder if you can help me with our writing unit. We are finding examples of descriptive writing as a class. I would like students to note the unique styles different authors use while articulating through the same stylistic devices. Would either of you be able to pull some books/pages for me to introduce strong description? They will be reading a page--not a whole novel/book. I would love to have 10 books to use for an activity. I plan to have them do a Gallery Walk, where they read and discuss the style and impression."

          The Librarian found some examples online, citing passages from picture books, since students could easily read an entire picture book and talk about the descriptions.
          As soon as I read the English teacher's request, some of my favorite authors' names had started popping into my head, so I began pulling books and putting post-it notes on pages with good description. This is what I came up with. Of course, these are examples of what I PERSONALLY consider quality literature. Incidentally, I haven't actually read Kerouac, but I know some of our kids dig him, so I found a passage I liked.

The following excerpt is from Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

Out of the gravel there are peonies growing. They come up through the loose grey pebbles, their buds testing the air like snails' eyes, then swelling and opening, huge dark-red flowers all shining and glossy like satin. Then they burst and fall to the ground.
     In the one instant before they come apart they are like the peonies in the front garden at Mr. Kinnear's, that first day, only those were white. Nancy was cutting them. She wore a pale dress with pink rosebuds and a triple-flounced skirt, and a straw bonnet that hid her face. She carried a flat basket, to put the flowers in; she bent from the hips like a lady, holding her waist straight. When she heard us and turned to look, she put her hand up to her throat as if startled.

The following excerpt is from The Rose and the Beast: fairy tales retold by Francesca Lia Block

She came that night like every girl's worst fear, dazzling frost star ice queen. Tall and with that long silver blond hair and a flawless face, a perfect body in white crushed velvet and a diamond snowflake tiara. The boys and girls parted to let her through--they had all instantaneously given up on him when they saw her.
     I felt almost--relieved. Like that first night with him but different. Relieved because what I dreaded most in the whole world was going to happen and I wouldn't have to live with it anymore--the fear.
     There is the relief of finally not being alone and the relief of being alone when no one can take anything away from you. Here she was, my beautiful fear. Shiny as crystal lace frost.


The following excerpt is from The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury

     Behind one door, Tom Skelton, aged thirteen, stopped and listened.
     The wind outside nested in each tree, prowled the sidewalks in invisible treads like unseen cats.
     Tom Skelton shivered. Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows' Eve. Everything seemed cut from soft black velvet or gold or orange velvet. Smoke panted up out of a thousand chimneys like the plumes of funeral parades. From kitchen windows drifted two pumpkin smells: gourds being cut, pies being baked.

The following excerpt is from The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

No human eye can isolate the unhappy coincidence of line and place which suggests evil in the face of a house, and yet somehow a maniac juxtaposition, a badly turned angle, some chance meeting of roof and sky, turned Hill House into a place of despair, more frightening because the face of Hill House seemed awake, with a watchfulness from the blank windows and a touch of glee in the eyebrow of a cornice. Almost any house, caught unexpectedly or at an odd angle, can turn a deeply humorous look on a watching person; even a mischievous little chimney, or a dormer like a dimple, can catch up a beholder with a sense of fellowship; but a house arrogant and hating, never off guard, can only be evil.

The following excerpt is from Moominvalley in November by Tove Jansson

     The forest was heavy with rain and the trees were absolutely motionless. Everything had withered and died, but right down on the ground the late autumn's secret garden was growing with great vigour straight out of the mouldering earth, a strange vegetation of shiny puffed-up plants that had nothing at all to do with summer. The late blueberry sprigs were yellowish-green and the cranberries as dark as blood. Hidden lichens and mosses began to grow, and they grew like a big soft carpet until they took over the whole forest. There were strong new colours everywhere, and red rowan berries were shining all over the place. But the bracken had turned black.


The following excerpt is from Desolation Angels by Jack Kerouac

     Those afternoons, those lazy afternoons, when I used to sit, or lie down, on Desolation Peak, sometimes on the alpine grass, hundreds of miles of snowcovered rock all around, looming Mount Hozomeen on my north, vast snowy Jack to the south, the encharmed picture of the lake below to the west and the snowy hump of Mt. Baker beyond, and to the east the rilled and ridged monstrosities humping to the Cascade Ridge, and after that first time suddenly realizing "It's me that's changed and done all this and come and gone and complained and hurt and joyed and yelled, not the Void" and so that every time I thought of the void I'd be looking at Mt. Hozomeen (...) Stark naked rock, pinnacles and thousand feet high protruding from immense timbered shoulders, and the green pointy-fir snake of my own (Starvation) ridge wriggling to it, to its awful vaulty blue smokebody rock...

The following excerpt is from Threshold by Caitlin R. Kiernan

(NOTE: these aren't typos, Kiernan's style is to sometimes smear her adjectives/adverbs together for effect)

Alice Sprinkle has hands like a bricklayer, sturdylong fingers and calluses and muscle, all the white and inconsequential scars that come from twenty years spent climbing around in limestone quarries, shale quarries, road cuts. Scars and the damage the sun does to a woman's skin, the fine wrinkles and her nails thick and nubby, a fresh Band-Aid wrapped around her left index finger; Chance smiles politely at her across the cluttered kitchen table and pours Alice another cup of coffee.
     "I just can't see any reason for it, Chance," Alice says and sighs, lifts her grayblue china cup and blows hard on the steaming black liquid inside. Breath to send tiny ripples across the dark surface, and "It's a goddamned, stupid waste," she says.
     "You really don't have to keep saying that," Chance says quietly, trying to sound confident, trying to sound like she doesn't know she's losing this argument again, and she drinks her own coffee, scaldingquick mouthful and a glance out the kitchen window at the summer night filling up the backyard. July night full of crickets and the metronome cicada thrum, a little cooler now because of the thunderstorms this afternoon, and the grass out there will still be wet, the soil underfoot still damp.


The following excerpt is from The Magic Circle by Donna Jo Napoli

Luscious rose brittles capture the light in air bubbles that seem to move on a sunny day. They line the outer walls. Bright red buttery caramels form a cornice on every window. Palest of jellied gumdrops stick up in cone-shaped mounds along the roof. I know they are delicious, though I do not indulge myself. Their sight is enough of a pleasure. The entire log house is decorated with candies. I've achieved a harmony of lights and darks that would bring a flush to my Asa's face. I know that. Or maybe I just fool myself into believing that.




THE FILTH...

The swamp in my coffee cup bubbles and festers with mysterious gasses...
          So this is what happens when you leave Cup O' Noodles residue in a coffee cup at work over a four-day weekend. What kind of chemical reaction was going on, to make that horrid bubble?! I may never look at Cup O' Noodles the same way again.

BANNED BOOKS WEEK 2011 : 10 stupid reasons to ban a book

Ten most stupid reasons to ban a book, #s 1-5

Ten most stupid reasons to ban a book, #s 6-10

          Another little display I did for the upcoming (September 24-October 1) Banned Books Week is something I got from ALA's website, which has lots of great info and ideas. Here's the list they provide:

Ten most farfetched (silliest, irrational, illogical) reasons to ban a book.
  1. “Encourages children to break dishes so they won’t have to dry them.” ( A Light in the Attic, by Shel Silverstien)
  2. “It caused a wave of rapes.” ( Arabian Nights, or Thousand and One Nights, anonymous)
  3. “If there is a possibility that something might be controversial, then why not eliminate it?” ( Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, by Dee Brown)
  4. “Tarzan was ‘living in sin’ with Jane.” ( Tarzan, by Edgar Rice Burroughs)
  5. “It is a real ‘downer.’” ( Diary of Anne Frank, by Anne Frank)
  6. “The basket carried by Little Red Riding Hood contained a bottle of wine, which condones the use of alcohol.” ( Little Red Riding Hood, by Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm K. Grimm)
  7. “One bunny is white and the other is black and this ‘brainwashes’ readers into accepting miscegenation.” ( The Rabbit’s Wedding, by Garth Williams)
  8. “It is a religious book and public funds should not be used to purchase religious books.” ( Evangelical Commentary on the Bible, by Walter A. Elwell, ed.)
  9. “A female dog is called a bitch.” ( My Friend Flicka, by Mary O’Hara)
  10. “An unofficial version of the story of Noah’s Ark will confuse children.” ( Many Waters, by Madeleine C. L’Engle)
          I just edited things a little to suit me, such as changing it from "silliest" to "most stupid" because I think that's funnier, and let's call a spade a spade, right? 
          Plus I removed their #2 and replaced it with "Homosexual penguins," from And Tango Makes Three. Partly because I wanted a gay book on the list, and partly because I found "a wave of rapes" to be a little harsh. Yes, I self-censored. So sue me because I didn't want to sit and stare for weeks at the phrase, "It caused a wave of rapes." I'd rather stare at gay penguins. They're adorable.
          If you would like to see the page from ALA's site where they provide this list and other activity/display ideas, go HERE.

BULLETIN BOARDS & DISPLAY : Banned Books Week 2011!

          Every year this is one of my favorite noteable occasions to decorate for. To see last year's displays, go HERE.
          This time I had this sudden idea to wrap our cylindrical glass display case in black butcher paper and cut out little peep-holes so the students could actually lift flaps to reveal the controversial books.
          It took a little work positioning the shelves inside the case so they lined up just right with the 5 peep-holes, but I was very happy with the result. It's INTERACTIVE, dude! I reinforced the peep flaps with packaging tape so they wouldn't get instantly shredded.
Just what is going on here?!
          What's really cool is that as soon as I got the display together, students instantly started lifting flaps and talking about the books, and wondering why people would object to them and try to make them unavailable to anyone else.

"Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself." -Potter Stewart


Why, look who we have here! It's The Giver, and Anne Frank!
          On the back of the display case is a locking door, but although I covered it in black paper, I purposely left it UNlocked, and put this on it:


"A library is a key to intellectual freedom..."
          Plenty of kids started immediately opening it and grabbing the challenged and banned books to check out.


Wow, look at all the enticing contraband!

          On the big bulletin board I did a variation of the same thing I did last year with my "unlock your mind" theme, and my "Banned Books Week Made Simple" cartoon.

"Unlock your mind... Banned Books Week!"

          And last but not least, I printed out the ALA's packet of info on the most frequently challenged or banned books from 2010-2011, put it in a 3-ring binder, and displayed it on the corner shelves at the circ counter, surrounded by some of the books that are always under fire. Every time a kid asks about the (so-called) REASONS for the challenges and bannings, I direct them to the folder and they eagerly flip through it, and read some of it out loud to their friends in outrage and indignation. I love it! 

"Read an 'endangered' book today!"
           The packet is totally free to download/print from ALA's website:
To get this awesome and useful pdf from ALA, go HERE


COMING SOON: September - December

The "coming attractions" board behind the circulation desk
          In case anyone is wondering which teen and YA series are popular around here, this is our latest "Coming soon..." board with the upcoming releases our students are peeing their pants in excitement about.
          As you'll see below, the two obvious trends in popular teen/YA fiction are 1) authors who probably don't really write their own books anymore because their names are so bankable anything with their name on it will sell, and 2) "tangential" series fiction, which is confusing to library workers because the same author will have 2 series going that look the same but they're not.

Here's the run-down of upcoming series fiction:

September 19th: James Patterson's & Ned Rust's Daniel X: Game Over, which is #4 in the "Daniel X" series. The title makes you think it's the last in the series but we've been tricked by teen series before, like Eragon, which was supposed to be a trilogy but turned into a 4-book sequence.

September 20th: Heather Brewer's First Kill, first in the "Slayer Chronicles," which is kind of a tangential series to her super popular "Vladimir Tod" series, only this time it's told from the vampire SLAYER'S viewpoint. Necessary? Not sure, but the kids will want to read it.

October 11th: James Dashner's The Death Cure, 3rd and supposedly final in the "Maze Runner" trilogy. Like I said, we've been tricked by "trilogies" before, so if this dystopian series continues to make money, the publisher might pressure Mr. Dashner into making a four or five-book "trilogy."

November 15th: Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin Fever, #6 in the "Wimpy Kid" series. It's like the new "Captain Underpants" or something. Ugh.

December 5th: James Patterson's & Jill Dembowski's The Fire, #3 in the "Witch & Wizard" series. Patterson. Hmph. Sick o' him. He's juggling too many plates and they're gonna start crashing. Besides, so much of his stuff is written WITH other writers, how much of it is he even really doing these days? I think he's just a brand, now. Maybe James Patterson doesn't even EXIST, like Franklin W. Dixon or Carolyn Keene. Have you ever seen him in person? I haven't. He's an urban legend. Nobody can write that many books.

December 6th: Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare, #2 in "The Infernal Devices" series. This is a tangential/simultaneous series (like Heather Brewer's above) that co-exists with Clare's continuing "Mortal Instruments" series. Clare is actually writing the two series at the same time. Both take place in the same fantasy world, but along different timelines. Confused? Read the author's explanation of this HERE. I haven't made up my mind yet if I find that impressive or annoying.

Here's a few other bonus upcoming releases we also have posted behind the counter:

October 4th: Rick Riordan's Son of Neptune, #2 in the "Heroes of Olympus" series. It's like a whole sequel series to the "Percy Jackson" series, about the next group of young kids at Camp Half-Blood. Not quite as annoying as a tangential series, but I still have to keep explaining it to students.


November 4th: Christopher Paolini's Inheritance, #4 in the Eragon, or "Inheritance" series. Which was supposed to be a trilogy.

THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW: a wee book review

     It's been a long time since I first read this. It was one of the first free Kindle downloads I selected. When I was a kid, I remember my dad reading this short story out loud to my friends and me on Halloween night, and he would smoke his pipe with cherry-flavored tobacco and blow smoke rings.
     As an adult, this story fell pretty flat for me, but maybe that's because my dad is several states away, and I couldn't smell that tobacco or watch the smoke rings.
     SPOILER ALERT!!!
     I had totally forgotten, or maybe just somehow missed it as a kid, that Irving makes it pretty clear that the Headless Horseman is most likely just Brom Bones playing a prank on Ichabod. And even mentions rumors in Sleepy Hollow that the former schoolmaster is later seen in other cities, having moved on, probably from shame.
     What a letdown!
I was way more scared by the Headless Horseman episode of Scooby Doo than by Irving's short story.

     The "legend" doesn't even have the ghostly horseman wearing or carrying a jack-o-lantern in place of a head. The legend is that the horseman carries his own head with him. It describes Ichabod's one encounter with the "horseman," where the horseman throws his "head" at Ichabod. But the next morning, it turns out not to be a head, but a PUMPKIN found smashed at the scene.
     Before that, the author describes Brom Bones as being quite the prankster, and how he and his pals are always pulling pranks on people. It also sets up the rivalry between Brom and Ichabod for Katrina's affections.
     So it's pretty obvious that it was really just Brom with a pumpkin, which in the dark of night the terrified Ichabod thought was a human head.  :(
     If I remember correctly, I think in both the old Disney animated version and the Johnny Depp movie, there's a SECOND encounter with the Horseman, in which it's obviously a real specter. Now I'm dying to watch the old animated one again, which I haven't seen in ages.
There's that Scooby Doo Horseman! SO SCARY!!!

     Another bone I have to pick with the original story is that Ichabod isn't even likable. He's kind of an opportunist and a lech. He's a total pig when there's food around, which is described in supposedly humorous detail. But I just found him kind of gross. In those days the tradition in small villages was that the schoolmaster didn't have a permanent home, and the village folk would take turns putting him up for the night and feeding him. I guess in exchange for him teaching their stupid country bumpkin kids. So Ichabod is basically a freeloader.
     The mood of the story didn't seem eerie or ghostly to me, it seemed more like a piece of slightly weird Americana. Mostly weird because of how "sleepy" the people in Sleepy Hollow are, and how they walk around as if in a supernatural daze, or something. But they're all happy and content. Where's the terrifying ghoul on the black horse with the flaming jack-o-lantern head? The concept of that is so awesome, I feel like Irving squandered a great idea.
     I almost never say this, but in this case I think the movies (both of them) are better than the original story!

P.S.- That last statement does not include the Scooby Doo TV episode. Although it was pretty cool at the time.

LIBRARY PRODUCT OF THE MONTH: Double-decker book display stand!

The clever double-decker book display stand is the one on the LEFT, obviously. I mean, DUH.
          Oh my god, I was SO excited when we saw these listed in a library catalog. (I think Demco, but maybe Highsmith) The description said you can use them to display thematically linked titles together, but oh there's so much MORE you can do...
          I hadn't quite figured out how to put them to use, so when somebody donated some of these No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency books, as soon as I got them processed I ran and grabbed one of the handy-dandy double-decker book display stands.
          I don't care that those particular books are probably not the most enticing reads for teens, don't they LOOK nice when displayed thusly? How does that one stick up higher than the others?! Is it LEVITATING?! It's like magic!

There it is from the back! What a sneaky scamp that double-decker book display stand is!
          There is one slight problem: if someone actually picks up the book on the lower part of the double-decker stand, the weight of the book on the upper part tips the whole thing over backwards. This might cause some alarm and shame, especially from some of our more timid students. In a way, this almost makes the stand BETTER, though.
          If it's a nice kid who inadvertently tips the stand over, I will tell them it's no big deal and just fix it myself. If it happens to a CRAPPY kid, I will yell, "WHY WERE YOU TOUCHING THAT?!" and write them a detention for their clumsy destructiveness.
          Actually, even with both books in place, it's kind of tricky to get the balance right so it doesn't topple over. I'm willing to accept this minor flaw, though, in a product that doubles as a clever display and a sly trap for the unwary.

George R. R. Martin's A DANCE WITH DRAGONS

          First of all, I'd like to mention that when I first typed the name of the series, I accidentally typed, "A Dong of Ice and Fire" instead of "A SONG of..."
          So I'm pretty distracted, giggling about that. But I will pull myself together.
          Okay.
Dude, it's 959 pages long. And that's NOT counting the guide to characters at the back.

          (By the way, I did my best to avoid any spoilers.)
          I just finished reading A Dance With Dragons, book 5 in Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" series. For those who don't know, it's an epic heroic medieval fantasy, sort of Tolkienesque. But Martin's characters aren't hairy-footed little pussies, and there aren't any lovely lovely elves, and the magical elements are very few and far between, which I think makes the whole thing more believable.
          It's set in a very harsh kingdom, where no one is clearly good or evil, they're just messily human. And bad things happen to most of them. What makes Martin's writing unique, I think, is that the chapters alternate viewpoint from character to character, like in a big cycle. For instance, one chapter may be about poor little Arya, a fierce princess on the run from assassins. But the chapter will end on a cliffhanger, and the next chapter is from someone else's viewpoint, in another part of the kingdom. So you have to wait until Arya comes up again, and meanwhile OTHER characters are in dire situations. I can't put these books down!
          Now there's a miniseries on HBO, called "Game of Thrones," based on the series, and I can't see it because we don't get HBO! It's not out on DVD yet, either. I tried streaming it online and the picture quality sucked. I'm gnashing my teeth.
          Anyway, just thought I'd post the review I put on Goodreads and Shelfari, my two favorite keeping-track-of-what-I-read sites. (By the way, I prefer Shelfari because it's prettier and looks like actual wood shelves, and I can navigate it more easily. But most people seem to like Goodreads better. Not sure why) Here's my little review:

(3 out of 5 stars)
         Sigh. I love "A Song of Ice and Fire," and I will definitely read the next book in the series, no matter how long it takes him to finally grunt it out.
          I love Tyrion, I love Jon Snow, I love Arya, I love many of the characters, especially the moral grey area most of them are smack in the middle of. Just when I think Tyrion is disgusting and irredeemable, he shows true kindness to that poor little dwarf girl, and becomes her protector in his gruff, crude way.
          And I do love Daenerys, BUT I am pretty sick of her wasting so much time in Meereen when we're all waiting for her to just f*cking return to Westeros with her dragons. This particular installment in Martin's big fat unwieldy series didn't move the many plots and subplots far enough to satisfy me. It's over 900 pages long, and I wanted things to come to a head more. I still found it very readable. But at this point there are so many characters that I was confused and floundering at the start of many chapters, trying to remember who the current character was, and their relevance to things.
          Not to mention it's been years since the last book and I can't remember where many of the subplots left off.
          The epilogue was the most exciting chapter in the whole book, despite the fact that it hinges on a revelation about a certain character I did not remember at ALL, and had to immediately search for in the extensive dramatis personae at the back. It pissed me off even further to find that there were at least TWO characters with the SAME FIRST NAME, but I ended up figuring out which one was mentioned in the epilogue.
          So what.
          Character is the most important thing in any story, and if I STILL can't wait to find out what happens to these characters even when I have to go through a guide to figure out who they are, then Martin must be a pretty good writer. I remain a loyal fan of "A Song of Ice and Fire." And they better release that damn miniseries on DVD soon, so I can see it.

FAN SERVICE: not just for manga anymore

          The first time I noticed the term "fan service," it was on the back of a manga volume in the junior high library, in context like, "rated T for teen because of violence and mild fan service," or something to that effect. I had to ask a Japanese teacher friend to explain it to me. Not just because she's Japanese, she really was the biggest manga fan I knew at the time.
          She explained it in terms of Japanese boy bands, saying that it's when the boys pretend to be "romantic" with each other on stage, even though they're not really gay, or not really involved with each other. They just do it because their fans are mostly teenage girls who WANT to see them kissing or whatever. They just do it for show, to please the fans.
          It also applies to comics, like when they show female characters flashing their panties for no apparent reason. It certainly doesn't further the plot. It's just "fan service."
          Just now I was leafing through the new August 2011 VOYA (Voice of Youth Advocates), and noticed a review that stated of a certain book, "gratuitous sexual crudity, female objectification, and fanservice may make this book a hard sell to parents and librarians." There was that damn phrase again! This time boldly smushed into one single word. And it was not even a comic book, it was a teen novel.
          I don't know how long they've been trotting this catchy term out in book reviews intended to help us library folk with collection development. Seems a little pretentious, doesn't it? They drop that term like we're all supposed to know what it means. Drop it like it's hot. Even though I DO happen to know what it means, I can guarantee you that plenty of other library people do NOT.
          In case you're wondering, the book tagged with "fanservice" in the new VOYA is The Robot by Paul E. Watson. It's about teenage boys who encounter a "super-realistic, sex-bomb of a robot, with no underpants..." I'm not even kidding.
Can you believe they did NOT put the robot chic with no panties on the cover? 
         

BULLETIN BOARDS & DISPLAY : Back To School; Genre

          Couldn't figure out what to put in the glass display case at first. Then my mom was volunteering in the library one day (adorable, right?) and she suggested back to school stuff and next thing you know the idea of the traditional "little red school house" popped up, which seemed perfect. If you try to get too "modern," and figure out what back to school really means for today's teen, you'll just end up looking like an old person trying to be cool. I don't know what the hell kind of supplies and electronics and doo-dads they need or want now. (Yeah, I work in a school, but I don't pay attention to anything other than books.)
          Going vintage/iconic seems safer, and ultimately cooler.
I grabbed a bunch of very obviously school-themed books to display.
Close-up of my handiwork.
          I even cut out the windows of the little schoolhouse and cut the door so it opens! I used red construction paper, some blue paper (it matches the bulletin boards), yellow for the bell, and white-out for the trim and the clock. I felt very clever with the letters, sticking them in the ends of the books and using erasers to make the "YOU" stand up. But every time I see that phrase, "are you ready," in my head I hear Jonathan Davis from Korn screaming/growling it at the beginning of "Blind."
          Don't know if you noticed in the first picture, but one of the books on the very bottom shelf is "School of Fear" by Gitty Daneshvari. I think that's funny.
          For the rest of the library I chose a pleasing blue and purple color scheme that I am quite fond of.


GENRE: a category of artistic, musical, or literary composition characterized by a particular style, form, or content.

Can't decide what to read? Pick a genre!
          We got all the genre posters free from Random House Teens. We've been slowly collecting them. There are even a few more than this, like horror and "beach reads," but they wouldn't all fit. Sometimes the Librarian asks me if we have enough of the books on each of these posters to display them, but I tell her if kids start asking for some of the books we DON'T have, that just gives us a good excuse to ask for money.
          I keep a clipboard labeled "STUDENT REQUESTS," and write down any titles we're asked for that we don't have. We use that, plus our own recommended lists, whenever we get some funding. I also take the student request list to the used book store when I have credit there from our donations program.
          As soon as the kids get settled after the first couple weeks of school, I'm going to plaster everything in here with "BANNED BOOKS WEEK" (September 24th - October 1st) stuff. I thought it might be a little too alarming for the parents and new 7th graders during registration and orientation. But look out in a few weeks.

VINTAGE BOOK : I Want To Be a Librarian (second installment)

Welcome back to the second & final installment of this thrilling tale of a young girl's tragic descent into library delirium at the hands of a manipulative and bookish madwoman...

I want to be a LIBRARIAN
by Carla Greene
illustrations by Frances Eckart

Copyright 1960 by Childrens Press USA

     Miss Brown found two books about dogs. They were books that Jane could read.
     "And I would like this book, too," said Jane. It was called,
          HOW TO SAIL A BOAT.
     "That book is hard to read," said Miss Brown.
                "You're much too stupid for that one."
     "My brother, Joe, will like this," said Jane.
     Miss Brown put a date on a card in each book.
     "Bring the books back on this date," she said.
     "Don't be late. You must pay a fine for late books."
               "Are you ready to pay that price, Jane? Do you know what true pain is?" asked Miss Brown.
     "I will take good care of the books and bring them back on time," said Jane.

Ah, and here is Joe, Jane's gay little brother with his sailor hat and shorty-shorts...
     "This is a wonderful book," said Joe. "It tells me what I want to know about sailing. 
               Oh, I think Joe's already done some "sailing."
     I want to be a good sailor.
               Mm-hm...
     What do you want to be, Jane?"
     "I want to be a good librarian, someday," said Jane. "I will help people find good books."
     "Miss Brown does other things, too," said Joe.

               That's my favorite line in the whole book.

Oh, wow, that's totally NOT what I thought he meant...


I wonder if Miss Brown ever just loses her shit and starts crying and screaming at all those demanding teachers? Or maybe that's just me.

     "How do you get to be a librarian, Miss Brown?" asked Jane.
     "You should go through college, Jane," said Miss Brown.
               "Even though you're a girl."
     "Then you should study another year in a Library School. And you should like children and books."
               I'm pretty sure that part is not required anymore.

"Now remember all that I've taught you, ladies, and don't be afraid to KILL should it prove necessary."
     One day Miss Brown let Jane help her.
     They drove out into the country.
               ...with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a loaded gun.
     "Here comes the book bus!" cried the children.
               They all glanced sadly at the little shrine by the side of the road where the last child had been struck and killed by Miss Brown in one of her drunken book bus rages.
     Miss Brown helped the children choose books.
     And Jane helped a little boy find a good book about turtles.

But unfortunately, stupid, STUPID Jane didn't know enough to hold the book right side up.

     On the way home, they saw Joe in his sailboat.
               Another boy's head popped up inside the boat, right next to Joe!
     He waved to them.
               Then the other boy's head bobbed back down.
     "Joe learned a lot from that book about sailing," said Jane.
     "You will make a good librarian someday," said Miss Brown. "I hope that you will come and work with me."
               "...and I will show you the dark one who slumbers in the catacombs beneath the library."

This picture is so idyllic, it reminds me of when I was a little girl...

               Well, that's the end. Your book report is due a week from today. Do not forget to write your name at the top, and mind your margins.

VINTAGE BOOK : I Want To Be a Librarian (first installment)

          I'm not sure where I picked up this discarded old library book, but I find it charming and amusingly lame. And kind of sad in this day and age when I bet there are fewer and fewer people who want to be librarians, considering all the budget cuts and layoffs happening in our public library systems!
          I will transcribe the text of the book faithfully, and leave my snarky comments in red.

I want to be a LIBRARIAN

by Carla Greene
illustrations by Frances Eckart

copyright 1960, Childrens Press USA

     Jane walked toward the library.
               That is an ACTION-PACKED opening sentence.
     She had never been inside the library.
     "I wish Joe had come with me," she thought.
     Joe was Jane's big brother.
     He would not come to the library.
     He had a fine new boat.
               Wait, what? What does his boat have to do with anything? Oh, I get it- he doesn't want to come to the library because he's too busy "playing with his fine new boat." But doesn't that sound like a non sequitur at first? And then it sounds like a euphemism.
Maybe Jane can help out this angry, stupid little girl who got her dress caught in the door.
     Jane went up to the door of the library.
     She read what it said on the door.

STORY HOUR
9-10

     Then she opened the door and went in.
               Where are her parents? Do they know where she is? What if instead of walking toward the library she had walked toward the old abandoned lumber mill where the crazy homeless men hang out getting drunk? Somebody needs to keep an eye on this girl.
"Miss Brown, if I join your story time will I be able to turn my head 180 degrees around as if I'm possessed by the devil, like that little boy there?"
     "What a nice room," thought Jane.
     There were books and pictures everywhere.
               No shit, Jane, it's a LIBRARY.
     Boys and girls sat in a half-circle.
               In the center was a freshly-slaughtered goat lying upon a pentagram.
     Miss Brown was the librarian.
     She smiled at Jane.
     "Come and sit here," she said.
     Miss Brown told a story that Jane liked.
     It was about a boy who had many animal friends.
               It took place in Mexico, and the boy particularly liked donkeys.
     "I want to read all the animal books in the library," said Jane.
     Miss Brown smiled.
               "That's stupid, dear."
     "That will take you a long time. There are many animal books here."
               "And many people who enjoy doing things with animals, Jane."
     "May I have a library card of my own?" asked Jane.
     "Yes," said Miss Brown.
     "Write your name here and take this card to your mother. Bring it back next week. Then I will give you your card."
               Next WEEK? I think Miss Brown must spend a lot of time sitting around on her bony ass when she should be processing library card applications.
I actually find this picture very pleasing, and just look at how dear and polite little Jane is!

She had heard many good things about a new book called "Go the Fuck To Sleep..."

     "I like dog stories," said Jane.
     Miss Brown showed Jane some drawers full of cards.
     "Let's look at the cards with the word DOG at the top. These cards have the names of books about dogs. See the number on each card. That tells me where to find the book."
               "Whoa, Miss Brown. You lost me at 'drawers full of cards,'" said Jane.
This illustration would make no sense at all to most kids now.


Stay tuned for the next scandalous installment of "I Want To Be a Librarian," in which Jane hears filthy rumors about her beloved Miss Brown. -ed

LIBRARY SIGNAGE : comics & manga, and magazines


          "Oh my god, Mr. Kovac, is the manga GONE?! WHERE DID THE COMICS GO?!"
          No, dear panicky child. Take a deep breath. I have simply switched the Reference section with the Comics & Manga. I know this is alarming at first because you're in the habit of charging into the Library and going straight to the Comics & Manga section, and today you are suddenly confronted with dry old atlases & almanacs, Business Leader Profiles, and Facts About the World's Languages. It probably feels like walking into what you think is a donut shop, only to find that it's now a dry cleaners.
          If you were to merely turn around and look over your shoulder, you would see the Comics & Manga section in all its lurid glory, occupying even more shelves than before. We actually ran out of room for all the fun stuff we were adding, so we weeded the worst old crap from the Reference section (which was larger), and moved it to the smaller shelving area where the Comic & Manga used to be crowded tightly together.
          I printed a little sign directing you to the new larger Comics & Manga section, and posted it on the end of the shelves facing out so you couldn't miss it. But the sign was simple and apparently not eye-catching enough.
          Now I have made bigger better signage by hand, more colorful and bold. Big arrows, some graphics... Will this keep the sudden jittery panic out of your eyes?

Calm down, kid, it's right around the corner!

WOULD IT KILL MICKEY MOUSE TO HELP A BROTHER OUT?

          Apparently this message was circulated to Anaheim Public Library staff recently:

Dear Staff,
As you may be aware, the Anaheim Public Library Foundation, sent a letter to their membership sharing concerns regarding the library’s budget and possible outsourcing of operations.  If you are approached by a member of the public inquiring about budget/outsourcing, etc, please use the following script and/or pass on to a supervisor. 

Yes, the library’s budget has been reduced again in FY2011/12 reflecting the economic challenges facing Anaheim. The City is looking at alternatives for library operations, including outsourcing to a for profit company.  As a member of the library staff I cannot comment on city policy, but you are welcome to refer questions or concerns to the Mayor, Council or the Anaheim Public Library Foundation.  If asked, please provide contact information (phone/address/web site) for our elected officials. 

          How can it be that the city with Disneyland raking in the bucks might have to outsource their public library to a for-profit company, possibly laying off many or all of their current library workers?
          I think outsourcing a public library is a terrible solution, and I hope the Mayor and city council (or whoever really makes these decisions) re-thinks that.
          But here's another thing- I think that stupid mouse should put his money where his family-friendly mouth is, and help out the community living in the shadow of the Matterhorn, Sleeping Beauty's Castle, and the Tower of Terror. Shouldn't that be the deal? That in exchange for letting Disney plunk its big fat ass down in the middle of the city, they would have to kick in some monetary assistance in times like these?
          The last time we went to Disneyland, by the end of the day we had spent a LOT of money, probably enough to run the library for at least a year.